CONFESSION 30!

i need to pee! soooo bad!

now that thats off my chest...

today i went to ripcurl pro day 3 heats at bells, the only heats that had been on so far was on day 1, say 2 had been postponedat bells.It was pretty awesome, i met mick fanning.
there were some pretty stong onshore winds and it was high tide in the bowl, so the surf was pretty shit, the comp was postponed for the second day in a row, but some boys managed to get out there and have some fun for us to watch which was cool.

the highlights of my day:
-seeing the boys push our school bus up main street torquay when our battery died.

-meeting mick fanning! (legendary)

-seeing zwierson embarras himself pretending to be a real tour guide of the tour and getting snowy to hav a photo with him, lol, lmao

The downers in my day were:
-having jesse and daniel give me more shit about my body and my appearence.

-the onshore winds and high tides

-...and the biggest downer of all............TAJ WASNT THERE! TAJ BURROW, IF U ARE READING THIS, CALL ME!!!! WHERE WERE U TODAY!

some pics from ripcurl pro @ bells beach so far...

this was from day one, when there were some offshore winds, and high tide which resulted in the day 2 of competitions being postponed.
[IMG]http://tinypic.com/2bb2gz[/IMG]

this is the brazillian wildcard entry who is facing a first heat with ASP world number 2 Joel Parkinson, and Tom Whitaker, both Parkinson and whitaker are aussie boys...but this brazillian boy does take my fancy...
[IMG]http://tinypic.com/2bb2nd[/IMG]

just another pic showing the small swell and SE winds facing the bowl @ bells.
[IMG]http://tinypic.com/2bb2o6[/IMG]

Day 1's, Glyndyn Ringrose, from Phillip Island, did an awesome set but didnt get enough points to get into the finals.
[IMG]http://tinypic.com/2bb2uc[/IMG]

ISA World Junior champ Matt Wilkinson surfed a solid heat but wasnt able to score a spot in the final heats too.
[IMG]http://tinypic.com/2bb2v8[/IMG]

This is one of the former 2 time world champ Tom Curren,he only paced fourth in his heats so just missed out on being the wildcard entry
[IMG]http://tinypic.com/2bb2w3[/IMG]

this was from day 1,when they changed the venue to Gunnamatta beach due to the poor conditions at bells.
[IMG]http://tinypic.com/2bb2wz[/IMG]

Brazzilian, Jean da Silva placed second in the heats and got through to the final heat of the main event.

[IMG]http://tinypic.com/2bb2xi[/IMG]

Ben Dunn, an aussie boy won the rip curl pro trials and instantly landed a spot in the finals of the main event.

anyone interested in seeing the action at bells,but cant make it down to bells, can get onto www.ripcurl.com.au and view the live broadcast online.

simon asked me to go to a party with him now that MADIE DUMPED HIM AFTER ONE WEEK! she does that every time! argh! but i dont think imgoing to go to the party with him, its in haystings he said, i dunno if he has asked madie to go, but i bet he would've.]

OH and., i found out this footy pro has a crush on me, he is alright, but im still into simon so im just going to get to know david(the footy gun) first, then see whats goin on...

catch!
[IMG]http://tinypic.com/2bb30w[/IMG]

CONFESSION 29! geez it has been a while hey...

ok, so so much has happened lately, the guy i liked that was trying to set me up with his mate is now going out with my best friend...how nice of her...enough on that, i will get mad again and i kno bronwyn doesnt like listening to all my shit about her.

so i will tell u some other things i have been up to:

i am going to the ripcurl pro @bells next wednesday and im so psyced. my only company for the day is jesse and daniel tho so it will be interesting to see how that goes, lol. we should all be in a good mood tho cos we're excited...mind u i have to leave school at 6am, be there at 5.45am, i cant see me being too happy around that time of day...we will see.

i got a part in this years college production and just for a change its the slutty mole...oh joy. lol slutty moles can be fun to play tho. i am also choreographing the tap and jazz numbers for the production dances so that will be cool.

i got chosen to dance in the commonwealth games and pan pacific games opening ceremonies which is pretty cool.

i hav to go now............. latas

Confession 28: HOLIDAY!

IF WE TOOK A HOLIDAY...TOOK SOME TIME TO CELEBRATE , IT WOULD BE, IT WOULD BE SO NICE!!!!
so now i was just getting over the whole jay thing and moving on, and i got a crush on this other guy, NOT COOL!
and i was sorta accepting it, ok, i like him, i will get over it, mums the word! lol
and i was doing the whole txt flirt thing with him, and he was with a mate, and he wanted me to txt his mate, so i did once, and then the other day i found out the guy i like is trying to set me up with his best mate
im soooooooo upset and pissed off right now i could SCREAM

its always the same, no one is ever interested in me. i cant tell someone how i feel and i waste my fucking time so then it either runs out on me and kicks me in the ass or they totally betray me.

it pisses me off, cos after jay i already had some SERIOUS trust issues, and i dont need a heap of rejection shit on me! it sucks ass!

i hate it so fuckin much

Confession __: i forgotten what number... d'oh

ok so im sitting at home bored shitless, mum and dad are at robins funeral and i dont kno what to do,i am watching robbie at knebworth, fantastic.xmas was fn, particulary when me and alex tried to convince emily to go under the table and lick nans toes, lol, pissa.when alex gets off his ass and sends me picsi will post em. im looking forward to going on a houseboat on the weekend with fam adn cousins in sa. wicked. lately all i been doing is sleeping, working, shopping a nd going to the beach and tanning...its toug life, i kno... i went to inverloch for a few days to surf and just got home kast n ight, it was wickedly fun. and we saw streakers, also fantastic, haha, tell yas later,ok, so im going to go, he is singing hot fudge, my fav song....

Confession 26: Phew, jay is gone!

jay is gone, terminated, finished, through, finito, done with, over... well u get the idea..... i p;ut in a pic of us for old times sake................. bronwyn might kno who he is now too.......

i have finally said my final goodbyes to jay, he is gone and i wio probably never see him again, as much as i kno i shoudl be happy,(and belive me i am) i really miss him, like totally miss him.......

i csnt be fuked typing the whole story now, just got my acrylic nails on and it making typing difficult. i fuking hat my life right now, im in a rut, no one wants me, NO ONE! argh, i wish i could get a decent peice of ass! me and madie aere goin to the 21 this weekend so hopefully i meet a hot dude and get outta my rut cos this sucks ass......

omg, im after a replacement for jay arent i??????? this is what the rut is about?????

argh!!!!!!!***screams and bursts into tears of fury***

Confession 25: I hope it's 25??

ok so im going to try and explain all this shit with jay, well actually im going to leave a massive part out of the start but that is for a good reason. thats is way too personal and i there is no way in hell i could even think about posting something like that on the internet so im going to leave a huge gap, like how we met and what happened when we were first becoming mates but trust me, i have no choice!
okkk, so the other day we had awards night and i during the day we had the rehersals for it. i was not getting an award but i was performing in anything goes and for flute. jay plays trumpet so he was going to go and play too. i was thinking about how i should react to him being there in the week before, and the only thing i came up with was to ignore him, not meanly, just not hang around him or start up any unnecessary conversations. then he wasnt there during the day rehersals. i was like damn, our band will be shit then cos he is like the bomb on the trumpet. then i found out he was coming tonight, just working today thats why he wasnt there. phew. theeeen i was setting up for band and i realised i will be sitting next to jay cos there was less room so we had to make 2 rows and my seat in flute was right next to him. omg omg omg.that sucks! then i started thinking, u know what, its the last time i will ever see him, i hadnt realised it before then. i was so upset when i realised that, tonight would be the lasst time i see him. we had had some bad shit happen between us and all bgut he was still such a great friend. how could i think i should ditch him for a night???? so i figured, im going to make the most of the night, im bringin bak the old days when we were mucking around and playing pranks(that was before all the shit happened) and when it was so fun and comfortable around each other. it was easy to do cos i knew he wanted it just as much as i did and he has been trying to get me to act like we used to lately anyways.
sooo that night before the show i was chilling and listening to deltas new albumn and i was in the dressing room. now i was getting into it pretty heavily lets just say. i really liked this one song so i was listenign to it and unfortunately, jay walked in when i was singing and i was putting on fishnets and getting my lower half changed.

great

jay has great timing u see

but anyways, he didnt seem to mind(gee how kind) and came up behind me(without me knowing) and pulled out ne of the ear phones and asked me if i was having fun. i didnt realise who it was, well at first i didnt even know anyone was in the room! so picture me belting it out to a delta song, standing the in fishnets and black bonds boylegs adjusting my fishnets. i had a bra on and no top but i was more worried about the legs! im pretty ok about showing my upper half u see, well as long as i have a bra on, lol. so there i was singing along and he walks up behind me and asks if im having fun. i dont kno why but i was so glad it was him(prob mainly cos i reeeally didnt want it to be some creepy nerd after a good time) i was so glad to see him cos i hadnt for ages! then gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek(prickly chin, haha robyn!(inside joke)). i wasnt embarrased about the singing lets just say cos everyone knows i love to sing wether people think i am good or not, lol. jay fortunately is one f the people who really think i have a voice(those poor disillusioned, deaf people!) and we started chatting and i was soo happy! like i wasa enjoying being with him! i havent truly enjoyed myself with him for a long time so it was great to finally.
bronwyn asked how much of me he saw:me in fishnets, boylegs ova the top of the fishnets and a bra.
and then later that night i was standing in this corridor where u wait before u go side stage and i was with jay.he was mucking around with me and put on this gay accent. he didnt realise how much of a dickhead he was bein! i was telling him just how gay he was when he flicked me on the arm. ow. it was really hard. now for those of u who have no clue who he is, he is 18, 6ft 1 inch and is REALLY strong. i was like shit jay u fuck that hurt! and he never belives me when he beats me up(he thinks we just playing and i dont get bruises. and i had my arm over it and then claire came and i was like "claire jay is the biggest bully, he hurt my arm!" and she said"what did he do" then i said he flicked me on the arm really hard" then jay got all defensive(still in his irish accent) and sai, "i only flicked her like this"(and he flicked claire on the arm). then she said, ow jay. and had her hand on the place where he flicked for a few minutes. about 2 mins later i took my hand off my arm and saw this massive red spot on my arm where he flicked me. i grabbed claires hand off her arm and started pissing myself laughing. i showed jay both our arms and he was pissing himself laughing too. the teacvhers were trying to shut us up but it was so funny, we were laughing so hard.

then i went out and sang anything goes and went behind the curtain to sit in my seat for band which was a few minutes after anything goes, and jay said something i didnt quite hear. i was like what? and he said"i said those should be uniform" and i said "what the fishnets?" and he said "nah...and the skirts, it looked pretty good out there on the stage. i just went "EEWWW!" inside, thankfully i didnt say it out loud. he was checking me out! grosse! he has a gf and he is like 18! I'm a minor!!!
in any other case i would have been flattered probably, but because i was out there in front of 400 or so people it didnt make me feel good to kno thats what he thought about my costume...

so then we went backstage after the performance and i went into my dressing room with claire. we were just getting ready to go out at interval when we noticed our arms were fine, the bruise had gone. DAMN! we were like, ohhh, that was our sympathy for the night from him! so we were like, hmm, well this can work to our advantage.....

now jay is a bit of a prankster u see, and its usually me and him playing dirty trics on people. i figured its the last time i will see him, lets make him remember it... i happen to have an avon palette with mauves in it and pinks. we scooped out a heap of it and smooshed it all on our arms. it looked soooo real! then claire ran off to go see her parents at interval and i was still getting ready. once i was ready i went out of the dressing rooms and jay was out there. he came up to me and said " hey el, im sory about flicking u." and he wasnt being soppy, he was sorta having a luahg but he was serious. i said "yeh well its a lot worse out of the dark corridor..." and showed him my arm. he just went , "oh shit, lol" and i said "nah, this is not acceptable jay! u cnat keep bruising me like this, im a ballerina, i cant keep rocking up with bruises showing through my tights..." and he cut me off and said "ellie im soo sorry..." and started to hug me but he was like wrestling me and pushing me into the ground and ticlkling me! i was laughing so hard my stomache was sore as!

then i eventually got out off the floor and said "jay u should see claires! hers s much worse than mine!" and went out to interval then went into the audience for the second half. i had a ball out in the audience.

then i turned to claire and said, im going to go and tell jay aabout our lil trick and say a bit of a goodbye then, and went downstairs to find him.
oops
he had left already. his ride was with this girl kylie who had to leave straight away...

so u see my dilemma. i never got to say goodbye ro tell him about the bruise. i felt terrible! i knew he felt really bad about my arm and suddenly it wasnt so funni. i was stressing the whooe week after. i hadnt seen him since then. im tired. this post is way too long. im off.

Confession 24: trying to spice things up...

Ok so no one wants to commment and i am pondering why, i can only come up with my blog is not interesting, so i will put in another queer quiz to liven things up...oh joy...

QUIZ!

The Quiz!!!

Name: Ellie

Single or taken: I would more call it desperate...

Sex: Female

Birthday: 22nd April

Sign:Aries/Taurus(I call myself a taurus though)

Siblings: Leigh(12)Maddie(16)

Hair color: Light Brown/Blonde, its hard, some people say i have blonde hair, dunno.

Eye color: Brown

Height:Bout 173cm last time i checked

???• X • R E L A T I O N S H I P S • X •

Who are your best friends?: Maddie, Eb, Maddy, Michael

You have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: nope

• X • F A S H I O N S T U F F • X •

Where is your favorite place to shop: Supre and jetty surf

Any tattoos or piercings: yuhu , my ears

• X • S P E C I F I C S • X •

Do you do drugs?:No

What kind of shampoo do you use?: Herbal Esenses

What are you most scared of?:People and myself. I dont trust myself around certain people i guess is what im saying...

What are you listening to right now?: the stupid fan

Who is the last person that called you?: madie

Where do you want to get married?: somewhere exotic and romantic

How many buddies are online right now?: not on msn

What would you change about yourself?: weight for sure, i have thunder things, ballerinas who actually make it somewhere do not have thunder thighs!

• X • F A V O R I T E S • X •

Color: Hot pink and lime green

Food: Chocolate

Boys' names: Jay(first) Tyler(Middle) let me just state it has nothing to do with the other jay!! i had chosen it before then. i swear!

Girls' names: Faith(First) Morgan(Middle) or Poppy(Middle)

Subjects in school:PE and drama

• X • H A V E Y O U E V E R • X •

Given anyone a bath?: like a sponge bath? thats so hot!

Smoked?:

NoBungee jumped?: not yet! i will though!

Made yourself throw up?: not for bad reasons, no

Skinny dipped?: Yes. A lot. In fact maybe too many times...

Ever been in love?: dont kno, does it count if the other person isnt?

Made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: yeh but then i laugh so it dont work anyway

Pictured your crush naked?: i am now cos u just mentioned it!

Actually seen your crush naked?: well i might have..lol

Cried when someone died?: of course

Fallen for your best friend?: twice!

Been rejected?: no, i never taken the plunge, i am scared of rejection.

Rejected someone?:Yes, but nicely i swear!

Used someone?: No, u should never take any person for granted or advantage of!

Done something you regret?: omg, lets not talk about this! way too many..**coughs* afterparty*coughs**

• X • C U R R E N T • X •

Clothes: Uniform. ech

Music:not listening to any

Make-up: eyeliner and mascara

Annoyance: mr clarke and daniel and jay

Desktop picture: some of my mates in their limo on their way to their deb

Book you're reading:umm, does cleo count?

CD in player: lol, jackson 5

DVD in player: well i have the delta cd in their cos i was playing pianio with it

Video Game in player: ummm, crash bash for ps, and nemo for xbox

GTA• X • L A S T P E R S O N • X •

You touched: jesse, i think i hit him on the back

Hugged:jay

You imed: imed??

You yelled at: mr clarke, well not yell but i was pissed

You kissed: hmmm, maybe one of my gfs, or if u mean pashed, would be i THINK nathan, buyt their are a few possibilities from when i was wasted...

• X • A R E Y O U • X •

Understanding: yes, maybe too understanding, it means i am siting on the fence a lot cos of it

Open-minded: hmm, i dont think so

Arrogant: nah

Insecure: always

Random: not sure

Hungry:starving, its 4 in the afternoon and i havent eaten anything all day cept for a glass of apple juice this mrning at 7:30

Smart: not sure

Moody: very, but its only ever about jay

Hard working: when i want

Organized: nope

Healthy: when i have ballet, lol,

Difficult: sometimes

Attractive: no

Bored easily: hell yes.

Responsible: Umm.. are we tal;king about with or without alcohol?

Obsessed: depends what we talking bout

Angry: not now

Sad:yup

Happy: sometimes

Hyper: Erm sometimes

Trusting: never of anyone else. i dont even trust myself! how can i trust anyone else in this earth! or jay for that matter!

• X • W H O D O Y O U W A N N A • X •

Kill: no one, well maybe chopper, but he had it comin ages ago.

Slap: ummlet me see, LACEY!!!!!

Get really wasted with?: eb!!!!! haha

Talk to offline: jay prob, he is easy to talk to

Talk to online:anyeone

Sex it up with: too many hot bods coming to mind...OVERLOAD!!!

• X • R A N D O M • X •

In the morning I am: Tired

All you need is: A MAN!

Love is: jay confusing the hell outta me and lacey and hayley.

Sexual preference: Men!! manginas are a no no

What do you notice first in the sex you're into: ass, biceps and hair!

• X • W H I C H I S B E T T E R • X •

Coke or Pepsi: diet coke with vanilla, mmmm

Flowers or candy: flowers, the dont have any calories

Tall or short: Tal, im tall and need a tall dude

• X • W H O • X •

Makes you laugh the most:ALex and Matt! and jay can be funni when he stops the gay accent!haha

Makes you smile: umm, on a good day jay, usually matt and alex or nathan tho, he is lovely

Gives you a funny feeling when you see him/her: jay, not always good but definately a feeling

• X • D O Y O U E V E R • X •

Sit on the internet all night waiting for that someone special to IM you?: im???

Save conversations: no, totally against it!

Wish you were a member of the opposite sex?:yeh cos then clarky wouldnt give me shit for playing sport! how can he expect us to participate wen he does that! i join in every lesson and he gives me that! what a dick.

Wish you were younger: NO!

Cried because someone said something to you?: Ye, DANIEL, cock sucker

• X • N U M B E R • X •

Of times I have had my heart broken: once

Of hearts I have broken: i dont kno...

Of CDs I own: omg, like 70, its reallly bad...

Of scars on my body:one on my bak thats a bit faded now, and one on my toe, both from sorrento when i was surfing, coral got me in the bak and a stick went into my big toe, ouch

Of things that I regret: the party and getting to kno jay so well

• X • Y O U R T H O U G H T S • X •

I know: nothin about the opposite sex, lol

I want: a guy to actually like me for once

I have: my hair in a towel at the minute, its wet, so cool, lol

I wish: jay was still at school so i could tell him i was playing a trick on him, lol

I hate: people taking advatage of me

I fear: myself

Stuff I hear: a lot of whiny bitches in my grade complaining about homework, WE ARE GOINT O HAVE TO DO IT ANYWAY, WETHER WE BITCH ABOUT IT OR NOT!

I search: forj ays number right now so i can confess and make up...

I wonder: what his number is!?!?!

I love:my freedom in australia, i can live the way i choose for the most part, lots of other kids my age dont get that. i am very grateful....

so i guess i will blog later to tell u somenews on jay, laters!

Confession 23: Organising to go rockin is hard...

so lately i have been asked to go to heaps of concert with my mates and i never realised how hard it was to organise! my cousin wants a group booking(cheaper tix) for green day and we are trying to get people to come but then my mum says she dont kno if im allowed to go(which is gay and a waste of time cos i kno she will let me eventually) and im going to see the globe world cup skateboarding comp with maddie and im also going to see saturday night fever. busy busy!
this is all not until feb march next year but u have to book tix now. so annoying, cant everyone just rock up there and organise tix there???
anyways, i dont think i have anything else to report. we have awards night tomorrow night and i am not geting an award but i have to perform a few times. jay is going to be there, that will be interesting...hopefully i dont have to hit him...
by the way, no-one is commenting on my blog, i will go on strike!

Confession 22: Subjects for 2005

So I have now got all my subjects finalised for 2005, finally! i am pretty happy about them, even thought i didnt get trenches to terrorism which i was really looking forward to studying, but i am doing a semester pe and sose, the full english, maths and science as well as glass work for semester 1, and in semester 2 i will be studying once again english, maths, science, as well as a semester of art of comedy, which is acting in comedy, dance styles, which is a dance class(how can school have such a fun and easy class for me??unbeliveable!) as well as some auto thing, where we work on cars and pull apart motors and shit in the auto room which sounds ok, and it sounds even better having only 4 girls including me in the class, he he.
so i guess thats all my news for now, oh wiat, maddie(my bestie) is getting a pool on sunday! yay!!! we can do something for free for once! our hols were looking pretty bleak, we are both broke. so i guess i will blog laters, cya!

Confession 21:I should be doing work...im not...whats new?

so i got kicked out of my seat in english(that was next to ashleigh) cos apparently i wasnt working well and i was disrupting people(BULLSHIT!) i was just havin a laugh... anyways, mr manks didnt think it was funni, i on the other hadn thought it was hilarios. and when he moved me, he didnt even move me to a remote part of the classroom, no, jhe moved me next to jesse and daniel, people i was sure to muck aroundwith, possibly even more than with the girls, lol.
anyways better go.

Confession 20: Camp was ok...

So I am back form camp with lots of stories to tell and lots of pics to share, some stories unfortunately i am keeping to myself cos i cant exactly let the whole form kno, but i will tell some...

sooooo, where to start, day one sucked ass, we had shitty cabins and a boring ass day, then day two sucked cos i had a massive fight with daniel and was in tears the whole night, day three was ok, i got close to a few people in my form which i am glad about, i spent some fun time that night too with some people,on day 4 a boy in my form tried to commit suicide with an electrical cord and that was sooooo emotionally straining and i feel like shit about it, i dont know wether he was going to go through with anything but he had a cord around his neck when a friend of mine saw him or something, that sucked and i was apparently in a state of shock cos i was shaking and crying and was shivering from the cold even though i had like 6 blankets on me. but in the end i got even more close to those few people who will still remain nameless due to an issue that came up on camp, any way, here are some of the happy snaps i can share.....

so maybe i will tell all details about camo anaother day but for now i am shuting up, dont know who is reading this!!!!

laters dudes!

Confession 19: CAMP NEXT WEEK! SHOES TONIGHT!

so im psyced for a few reasons right now, one being next week i go on camp and dont have to go to schoool the whole week, (cept we have to do a few learning things on the camp) and now cos of todays market day i can go to the shops tonight(if my mum lets me!) and buy my new hot pink converse all stars!!!!!! yipee!!!!!!

so bored though, tonight i have piano as well, kath n kim is on tonight i think. i have heaps of maths homework tonight. damn. umm, yeh so i pulled out of the thing on friday at the zoo to save the ornagutans, i couldnt be bothered going, there would be a bunch of year 7 nerds there and i dont know them, well i know one but not very well and i can assure the the conversation would be boring as shit.

this weekend going to beach but i hear it is going to be freezing so i mightn be going :( i was really looking forward to getting a tan, damn.

hmmm, i think thats all, prob the last time u hear from me for a week unless i get on on the weekend.

laters!!!!

Confession 18: Market Day Today...

So today was market day at school, where all the year 8's get to get together in a small group and make a stall, it was awesome fun and me and eb sold heaps of these earrings we made and did some hairspray too.
i have some new pics to put in of me and maddie.

Confession 17: Tired, so tired...

so right now im in the resource centre and doing some thing on raku pottery, very bgored, last night had late dress rehersal and missed idol and got NO sleep, so tired! at work on sunday everyone was abusing me, either on the phne or in person, bastards, lol.
im getting my converse shoes soon! yay!
ellie

Confession 16: my dog is insane...

ok so it has been a while since i put in a pic or two so i thought i would see what i could find for u peoples now, hmmm, lets browse shall we..........
oh found one!

the hosts with the most, my good friends (WHO I HAVE MET!!!!!!) andrew g and jimmy-james mathison......


AND, i promise, once i scan the pics from the zoo of alex and matt and some of the gals i will put them in (i kno matt wnats a copy and i dont think alex has seen it, lol.

well, im out, cyas later!
cup day weekend, hopefully i will drag in some money and not die of total embarrasment from the family tradition, (fill u in laters)

oh and about the title, i have come to the ralisation something is seriously wrong with my dog, something weird, i think he is possesed,lol.

Confession 15: I think im up to 15??!!??!!

so i wasnt going to talk about this in my blog until now cos its really bothering me and im using this as a means of getting it out of my system.

so last week my little brother came home from school and said how a girl i knew from ps had a cardiac arrest and was in a coma after she fell and hit her head(she fell as a result of the arrest). i was shattered, i knew the girl and her name was teneal and she was such a sweetie. it was on the news and everything. the local paper had a major story on it too. so then a few days later i was going on an excursion to the zoo and my friend called while we were on the bus and told me that she had had a brain collapse and her parents were turning off the life support. i oculd belive it, i have still not got the sick feeling out of my stomache.

so yesterday they had the funeral and i am real cut cos i should have been there, not at school. i had no way of getting there, so i feel totally gutted cos i never said goodbye, i wasnt there for my other friends who were at the funeral, i feel terrible, i was trying to not think about it today but then at lunch my friend called and told me it was a lovely service and i just feel like total and utter crap about the whole situation, this sucks major ass. maddie (my friend) said they had on top of the coffin all the thigs she loved the most in life, her bottle of diet coke with vanilla(thats my girl teneal), pringles, a picture of her sisters and dog, and a basketball. she was buried in ehr bball uniform. i cant belive i couldnt say bye, i understand i wouldnt have ever been able to, even if i did go, but i guess it would have just helped the healing process a little.

have a great long weekend everyone...

Confession 14: I like cute poems... well...any poem really...

I found these poems on this website and felt like putting it in.

Romeo and Juliet

Remember not the pathos of our plight

Or the tears of our too-youthful end.

Mourn us not, for we became a light,

Eden shining still through deathless night,

On all who first pure love would comprehend.
Judge us not, although we chose to die,

Undone by beauty such as few have known,

Love so perfect one could not reply

In words less meteoric than its own.

Each life must wend its way towards death and pain.

Though we died young, our story will remain.

Confession 13: Killing heidi lyrics...

so these are some of the songs i was moshing to at the night, byes!

"Weir"

Old friend of mine,
we will never lose the time,
that we shared all these years,
these years.

Old friend of mine,
we will never lose the time that we,
shared all these years,
these years

will you......

Will you make it in the end?
Through all the twists and bends,
will you full fill your dreams?
Not as easy as it seems.

Lover friend of mine,
we will never lose the time,
that we, covered in our tears in our tears.

Lover friend of mine, we will
never lose the time,
that we, covered in our tears in our tears.

Will you:.

Will you make it in the end?
Through all the twists and bends,
will you full fill your dreams?
Not as easy as it seems.

Floating in the weir , and you
think you'll never sink ,
so you, forget all your fears,
your fears.

Floating in the weir,
and you think you'll never sink,
so you forget all your fears,
your fears.

Will you.....

Will you make it in the end?
Through all the twists and bends,
will you full fill your dreams?
Not as easy as it seems.


"Mascara"

Stumbling along
Looking at nothing
Cos your eyes
Always on your feet
If u ever looked up
You'd see the sun
In the morning
Wonder why things are so bleak

Boring and old
Are the things your told
About the outside world
Just wearing black wont take care of that
Dont be stupid girl

Walking
Always talking
Never listening
You just kick back
How do you handle
All the bullshit
That gets thrown your way

Boring and old are the things youre told
About the outside world
Just wearing black
Wont take care of that
Dont be stupid girl
Oh
Down on your knees
Trying to appease
Somebody's mixed up statement
Cos in not much time
Your beliefs that are lies will be left by the pavement

I've been doing some thinking
About all your preaching and I dont wanna know
Cos thats just conforming
And that is not
What you wanna be

Boring and old are the things your told
About the outside world
Just wearing black wont take care of that dont be stupid girl
Dont be stupid
Down on your knees trying to appease
Somebody's mixed up statement
Cos in not much time
Your beleifes that are lies
Will be left by the pavement
They'll be left by the way
Left by the pavement
Ow oh oh
Oh
Dont be so stupid girl
You really are
Just dressed in black wont take care of that
Dont be
Be so stupid girl

i think if u read these lyrics instead of listning to them, you really understand it better.

i love the words in this song.

Confession 12: my busy weekend...

Ok, so as the title states, i had a pretty busy weekend, seein as i am so utterly bored(as i kno all of u are seeing as u are sitting and reading, of all people, my blog.
well on thursday we went to the zoo and we got bored after a while so we played rugby with the boys, lots of fun, then we plkayed british bulldogs and i flashed when brendan tackled me, my skirt flew up, very attractive ellie.
so on friday night i had ballet and i hurt my leg which is not cool, and im starting to get really pissed off with all these injuries im having lately.
then i went home and went on msn, i didnt get to sleep til like 11(which on this weekend is not a good thing seein as i was so busy) and i was on msn talking to daniel and i actually spilt to him about the "issue" i dont know wether i should have or not yet though, i guess i gotta wait for him to proove himself.
then on saturday i woke up at the tender hour of 7 and got ready to go horse riding with the chickadees for sarahs bday.
i went ok i guess on the horse, there was one interesting biut however when i was soooo close to falling off it wasnt funny, i was holding onto the sadle wit either hand at each end and was pissing myself laughing. lol, it was so fun. then we got to tide the lil shetlands around, hey are so fast, i had a blast on them, lol.
then we went back to sarahs and somehow we decided to have a silly fashion parade. we all dressed up in character and the inspiration for my outift and character came from the britney spears film clip for baby one more time and the feature film, the craft. so as u can probably guess, i looked like a slut in a school girl uniform with dark makeup, (promise to put in some pics as soon as i can) i cam second in the end to sarah. the competition involved an interview, a talent round and a strut.
then we watched some vids and i went home about 12.
on sunday i woke up this time at 6 and got ready to go to work (oh the joys of earning money) and then got back from work at 1:30.
i watched a movie when i got home, the one where i got the inspiration for mny blogs name, confessions of a teenage drama queen.
then at 3 i went round to maddies and we got ready to go out to the killing heidi gig at the local nightclub 21, brock downey were supporting too so we were phsyced as u can imagine. on the way we stopped at maccas (seein as we were so busy getting ready we forgot to eat!)and picked up a cheeseburger, then were scoffing it down before we got there, and pulled up at this big intersection when i looked out the window and saw some hot guys waving to me, i was so embarassed! then i waved back and one of the guys recignised maddie, they were friedns from school, and then the windows were down and we were talking.
at the 21 we were moshing and screaming soooo loud to killing heidi and brock downey(sooo hot!) i lost my voice and am still having troubles with my throat now after it,(its tuesday now) and we didnt pick up but there were no hotties there really apart form this guy who i usually see there (we call him yellow polo shirt) and he is a bit shorter than me and i think prefers the girls to make the first move anyway. so i didnt pick up but had a great night even though i lost my voice...
lol
ok well see u laters!

Confession 11: the twisted mind of ellie

So i guess its been a while since i spilt so im going to spill whats goin on in my head now i think.
1) i wish i wasnt setting up my bestie with my crush, it causing conflict between us and i dont like her as much as i did.
2) i wish that i didnt tell ashleigh as much as is did cause she just goes and bites me in the ass with it and screams things out in forn tof the whole grade to hear as a way to get back at me.
3) im worried cos i dont wanna turn into an anorexic or bulemic and lately i have been hating my body so much and i know how those things can get in and ruin dancers.
4)im stressed about all this shit with jay and i dont wanna get hurt by him and im scared of him and i have to act normal around him and let on like i kno nothin when infact i kno EVERYTHINGabout what he did to hayley, what he did to me(but cant remember) it sucks ass cos i want to hate him and i should but then again i cant.
5) i really want to talk to jay about it but im too scared cos of what hayley said and what happened the last time i tried asking him about it.
so i guess thats whats happening at the min, keep ya posted.

Confession 10:ooh double digits, lol

6.25 %

My weblog owns 6.25 % of me.
Does your weblog own you?

Confession 9 : This could be my last...

I seem to be putting a lot into this and no one is ever commenting so im thinking of giving this up unless people start commenting fast

Confession 8: im beggining to be addicted to this thing...

So, how r ya'll? ok, im weird, i recently purchased a copy of the very best of the jackson 5. how old school of me! lol
WORD ASSOCIATION-- WHATS THE FIRST WORD THAT COMES TO MIND?
o. Eminem: Tralier
o.Hott: flame
Britney Spears: trash
o. NSync: dancing
Real World: mtv
Orange: apple
Fuck: screw
o. Bisexual: short hair
.o. Black: goth
.o. Insane clown: lipstick
. Linkin Park: Numb
.o. Jack: jill
. Echo. echo
Rainbow: pretty
. Cherry: Ripeo
. Cucumber: Face Mask
o. Shark: Bait
o. Bat: tennis
. Leather: old
o. Whip: spank it baby
. America:star spangled banner
.o. Water: surfing
!o. Volcano: hot!
THIS OR THATo.
Rock or rap: rap i guess,i like both though
o. Pop or rap: Pop I guess.
o. Rap or R&B: R&B
o. Rock or metal: Rocko. L
inkin Park or Limp Bizkit: LimpBizkit
.o. Tool or Korn: dont know who tool is
.o. Spring or fall: Spring
o. Shakira or Britney: Britney.
o. ICP or Eminem: oooh iluv mnms!
o. Marilyn Manson or Rob Zombie: Rob ZOMBIE
o. Kittie or Garbage: Garbage.
o. MTV or VH1: MTVo
. Buffy or Angel: neither
.o. Dawsons Creek Or Gilmore Girls:lurve both but love dawsons just a lil more
.o. Football or basketball: Footy!
o. Summer olympics or winter olympics: Summer.
o. Skiing or snowboarding: water skiing
o. Rollerblading or skateboarding: Rollerblading
PRIVATE LIFE
o. Boyfriend/girlfriend: boyfrind,cant make out with a girl
.o. Have you ever been in love: Nope
Ever had sex: i dont think so, that is still up in the air.
o. How many hearts have you broken: too many
.o. How many people broke your heart: none, i havent given it
.o. So what's your significant other like: stop rubbing it in!
o. Do you go more by looks or personality: depends how hot or how good there personality is
.o. Ever kiss a friend: not a gf, lots of boys though
.o. Do you smoke: umm,no,no illegal substanceswhatsoever...!
o. What's your Anti-Drug (something that keeps you away from drugs, like a sport/hobby): food
WOULD YOU EVERo. Bungee jump: yu hu
.o. Skydive: Yep.
o. Swim with dolphins: Yeah!
.Scuba dive: Yep.
o. Go rock climbing: hell no
o. Change your religion: never
.o. Turn your back on your friends for personal gain: No way
.o. Steal a friend's boyfriend/girlfriend: Nope.
.o. Crossdress: nah
.o. Lie to the police: Probably not, I'm a scaredy cat
.o. Run from the police: even with all those donuts they'd still be faster.
.o. Speed away from the police: see above
.o. Walk up to a total stranger and kiss them: is brad pitt a stranger? .
.Be an exotic dancer: maybe if i was thin and had no choice.
. Streak: have
.FRIENDSo.
Best friend(s): maddie, ian, nicole
o. Known the longest: ian
.o. Wish you talked more than you do:for thesake of this planet,no
o. How many friends do you think you have: maybe 100
o. How many do you actually hang out with: changes
.o. Who drives you insane: jeffand his body
a few times
o. What's the next level?...getting drunk, going out with and hooking in with
.o. Told the person you liked how you felt: Nup
o. Gotten really REALLY wasted: ummm,no,hmmm,umm, of coursenot.
skateboarded: tried a few times, lol
.o. Skinny dipped: Uh. Yes.
o. Stolen anything from a store: NOPE.
o. Kissed someone of the same sex: no,invitations open ladiies, JUST JOKLING ALL U DYKES OUT THERE, not that there is anything wron g with that
.o. Been to a concert: Yup lots
o. Been to another country: Nope
.o. Talked back to an adult: Yesh.
o. Given money to some homeless person: u mean a bum, hell no
. Tried to kill yourself: Nope.
.o. Cried to get out of trouble: yes
.o. Kissed a friend's brother/sister: i cvant remember
e.THE LAST THIN.
You ate: chips
.You drank: A coke
o. The last place you went: To school
o. Last thing you bought: the very best of the jacksons
.o. Last person you saw: kassie
.o. Last person you talked to online: ummmmatt
o. Last person you hugged: caroline
.o. Last song you heard: jackson 5 can u feel it
.YES OR NOo.
Do you like cows: no
.o. Do the voices talk only to you: Yes.
.o. Are you straight: Yup
.o. Are you short: Noo
.o. Do you own a hot pink shirt: toomany
.o. Do you like Marilyn Manson: i like his make up stylist
.o. Do you shop at Hot Topic: huh
o. Do you remember your dreams: sometimes, but most of the time i remember that i hadREALLY good dream (like for instance i was making out with a crush) but i cant remember the actual dream, only that at one point i think i made out with(insert name)
.o. Can people read you like a book: I know i tend to hide how i really feel about things inside cos i kno everyone knows me as the happy bubbly personality, but with all thats going on lately i have been trying to show whats happening in my head on my face, but lately the frown has been coming easily anyway.
.o. Do you talk a lot: as soon asi get to kno someone, when i first meet someone(like the first time) im quiet, but then the second time i cant shut up
.o. Are you afraid of clowns: nah
.o. Can you drive: not very well, once i drove a morris major(baby blue) through my cousins paddock, lol
.o. You an only child: Nope.

so there u go, that little test took em a few days to finish so i hope it was worth it.
luv ellie
ps. can someone comment on this thing once in a while? im getting a bit bored of it even though im addicted cos no one ever says anything...

Confession 7: I have a thing for chick flicks

So, as the title states, i have a thing for chick flicks, and was recently watching a good one called a walk to remember and feeling sorry for myself when mandy moores character said something, "without suffering we cant feel compassion" and i thought, hey she is right, we cant. so im not feeling as sorry for myself as before but i still hate whats goin on lately.
the other day i was in the resource centre and then i saw jay, i am trying to act like normal cos i dont want him to think i kno anything, so i was sitting in there and he saw me and sorta waved and siad hi, then a few mins later he came and sat down next to me, i tried to play cool, act normal, and it was going fine when all of a sudden i hear Mr Lancaster screaming "O, u what do u think ur doing" i didnt know who he was talking to but i realised that he was talking to jay. i instantly felt sick. then Mr Lancaster continued "What are u doing chatting up such a young girl and flirting with her!" jay got up and was like "what!" and we both went bright red in the face. i was so mad at Mr lancaster. he was only joking but it was enough to scare off jay, its hard enough talking to him and things were just getting comfortable between us when he shouts out something like that! i was so mad, its annoying enough with the age gap between us and i was sooooo pissed. then once jay walked off and talked to mr krenn, mr lancaster goes to em"I will tell ur father!" and i said"what! that i speak to guys occasionally!" and i shoved it right up him cos i was so mad at him and he deserved it. urgh, he makes me so mad, he is the biggest idiot.
so there is my life right now, i will keep everyone posted on the me and jay situation and tell u if he ever speaks to me again.....

Confession 6: I better do a funny quiz...

1. SCHOOLS YOU'VE ATTENDED? Ballam Park Woodlands Ps and Mt Erin
2. YEAR YOU WERE BORN? 1990
3. DID YOU GET ENOUGH SLEEP LAST NIGHT? No I was awakelistengin to the funny people on love song dedications, lol
4. FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT THIS MORNING WHEN YOU WOKE UP? Where are my pants
5. WHAT DO YOU HAVE HANDY AT YOUR BEDSIDE?phone, watch, gum and bottled water.
6. EVER TRIED TO SKIP MEALS? Yes. every mornging i skip brekky
7. GRILLED OR FRIED? depends if im having a fat day.
8. WHAT MAKES YOU UNIQUE TO OTHER PEOPLE? i dont think im unique
9. WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO YOURSELF TODAY? talk to jay
10. GIVEN A CHANCE TO GO ON NATIONAL TV, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? Tell PM John Howard to phone rove
11. IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE HOUSEHOLD APPLIANCE THAT HAS A MIND OF ITS OWN TO FOLLOW YOUR ORDERS, WHICH WOULD YOU CHOOSE? A robot that could do everything i needed.
12. ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK? No
13. FAVORITE HANGOUT? beach and bed
14. WHATS YOUR MOST USED WORD? lol, like, u kno
.15. 3 THINGS YOU CAN'T LIVE WITH OUT?boys, family and dancing
16. YOU'RE A LIFELESS OBJECT FOR A DAY, WHAT WOULD YOU BE? a surveillance camera
17. FIRST THING YOU WILL BUY IF GIVEN 1 THOUSAND PESOS? Convert it into dollars and go shopping baby!
18. FAVORITE SONG WHEN YOU'RE SLEEPY? anything by 5th dimension
19. WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF GAYS? i think people should have the right to choose how they live and their lifestyle
20. ARE YOU WILLING NOT TO TAKE A BATH FOR ONE DAY? Yes. i would be pruny huh
21. CHRISTMAS GIFT YOU WANT TO RECEIVE? i pod
22. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES? ellie belle
3. WHAT IS YOUR DAD'S MIDDLE NAME? paul
24. WHO ARE THE GFS/BFS OF YOUR BROTHER(SISTERS)? chuck and nikki
25. MOST RECENT MOVIE THAT YOU WATCHED? a walk to remember
26. INVISIBLE FOR A DAY, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? run around naked
27. GIVEN 3 WISHES, WHAT WOULD THEY BE? for one million wishes
.28. STUCK ON A DESERT ISLAND & COULD HAVE ONLY ONE KIND OF FOOD FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, WHAT WOULD IT BE? chocolate
29. FAVORITE T.V. COMMERCIAL? ht eone where the kid is on the bed and jumping then he falls asleep on the other one (sealy)
30. IF YOU'LL DIE TOMORROW, WHY NOT TODAY? i wanna say bye
31. FIRST THING(s) YOU'LL SAVE IN A FIRE? Photos
32. YOUR EYE COLOR?Brown
33. WHAT ARE THE THINGS YOU ALWAYS CARRY?Keys, phone
34. SHOWBIZ OR POLITICS?Showbiz
36. WHAT DO U USUALLY DO WHEN THE CLOCK TURNS whats that mean
37. THE COLOR OF YOUR BEDSHEET? blue with trucks, lol
38. GIVE JUST 1 FAVORITE SONG. one sweet day
39. WHAT DID YOU WANNA BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID? A clown and ballerina
40. WHAT IS THE WALLPAPER ON YOUR CELL PHONE? playboy logo and sometimes its a turtle, lol

Confession 5: I really dont like pizza

so everyone, how are ya'll?
dont ask me what the above line was about.....
today matt told me i could have his old fob watch chain when he gets his new one so he better not be lying, lol.
im so tired lately, its like 8:30 and im yawning. maybe it has something to do with the fact that im watching some crap show called dancing with the stars, u figure it out....
i go back to ballet on friday after the hols and im real scared cos we were supposed to do muscle development and i totally ditched it and went out partying, lol, im going to be dancing like a hippo , oh no!
so my job is going ok, i like it, good perve factor, i work with some hot older guys so when its my break i can sit back, watch and enjoy the sites, lol. the hottest one is called kary (pronounced sorta like carey)
today jay elbowed me in the face, cos he is so tall he wacked me right in the face, he was only pretending to hit me , mucking around, but he actually got me right in the nose and it killed and i wanted to wack him so hard but he was real sorry so i thought i should just let it go.
and the title, i really dont like pizza. i dont love it, its ok, but i dont really like it so i NEVER eat it, i think i have had 2 slices my entire life, same with cake, i never eat cake, its the same rule. kary thinks im insane, as do most people.
i have made a pact to lose some more weight. i lost 2 sizes at the start of the year and i wanna lose a few more cos then i will be on the verge of thin which i should be for my ballet so we will see how that goes. I will keep u posted!

my little tid bit for today is the lyrics to a sing from west side story the film, its called , Gee Officer Krupke.
The setting is a street in new york and a gang of american tennage boys have just been told off by officer krupke, a police officer, he has gone and they are being silly about him. ENJOY KIDIE WINKS!

West Side Story - Gee, Officer Krupke Lyrics Gee, Officer Krupke!Music: Leonard Bernstein/Lyrics: Stephen Sondheim

RIFF:Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke You gotta understand, It's just our bringing up-ke, That get us out of hand. Our mothers all are junkies, Our fathers all are drunks, Golly Moses, natcherly we're punks! RIFF and QUARTET:Gee. Officer Krupke, we're very upset; We never had the love that every child oughta get, We ain't no delinquents, We're misunderstood, Deep down inside us there is good! RIFF:There is good! ALL:There is good, there is good, There's an tapped good,Like inside, the worst of us is good. SNOWBOY(imitating Krupke):That's a touchin' good story! ACTION: Lemme tell you to the world! SNOWBOY ("Krupke"):Just tell it to the judge! RIFF(to "Judge"):Dear kindly Judge, your Honor, My parents treat me rough,
With all the marijuana, They won't give me a puff. They didn't wanna have me, But somehow I was had. Leapin' lizards, that's why I'm so bad! DIESEL ("Judge"):Officer Krupke, you're really a square; This boy don't need a judge, he needs ananalyst's care! It's just his neurosis that oughta be curbed. He's psychologic'ly disturbed! RIFF:I'm disturbed! ALL:We're disturbed. we're disturbed, We're the most disturbed, Like we're psychologic'ly disturbed.

DIESEL ("Judge"):In the opinion of this court, this child isdepraved on accounthe ain't had a normal home.

RIFF: Hey, I'm depraved on account I'm deprived!

DIESEL ("Judge"): So take him to a headshrinker.

RIFF (to "Psychiatrist"):My father beats my mommy, My mommy clobbers me. My grandpa's always plastered, My grandma pushes tea, My sister wears a mustache, My brother wears a dress, Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess! A-RAB ("psychiatrist"):Yes!Officer Krupke, you're really a slob. This boy don't need a doctor, just a good honest job. Society's played him a terrible trick,"Und" sociogic'ly he's sick!

RIFF:I am sick! ALL:We are sick, we are sick,We are sick sick sick,Like we're sociologically sick! A-RAB ("psychiatrist"):In my opinion this child don't need to have his head shrunk at all. Juvenile delinquency is purely a social disease! RIFF: Hey, I got a social disease! A-RAB ("psychiatrist"):So take him to a social worker! RIFF (to "Social Worker"):Dear kindly social worker. They say go earn a buck, Like be a soda jerker, Which means like be a schmuck. It's not I'm anti-social I'm only anti-work, Glory Osky, that's why I'm a jerk! BABY JONN (imitating female social worker):Eek!Officer Krupke, you've done it again. This boy don't need a job, he needs a year in the pen. It ain't just a question of misunderstood;Deep down inside him, he's no good! RIFF:I'm no good! ALL:We're no good, we're no good,We're no earthly good, Like the best of us is no damn good! DIESEL ("Judge"):The trouble is he's crazy ! A-RAB ("Psychiatrist"):The trouble is he drinks! BABY JOHN ("Social Worker"):The trouble is he's lazy! DIESEL ("Judge"):The trouble is he stinks! A-RAB ("Psychiatrist"):The trouble is he's growing! BABY JOHN ("Social Worker"):The trouble is he's grown! ALL:Krupke. we got troubles of our own! Gee, Officer Krupke,We're down on our knees, 'Cause no one wants a fella with a social disease. Gee, Officer Krupke,What are we to do? Gee, Officer Krupke,Krup you!

Thats all for today fellow bogs,oops i mean blogs, hee hee

xoxo

Confession 4: I think i kno how to put in pics now...yay!

so i think i finally know how to put in pics, thanks to the brilliant bronwyn, holla at ya girl!
so this first pic is of me at my sisters deb. im on the right with the pretty thing dangling over my shoulders. the other girl is one of my sister(maddie)s friend(steph)s older sister kat. she is really lovely and has been helping me a lot with all my probs lately, one very wise yound woman...




and the other pic that i have so kindly put in for all u paedphiles out there is me and steven(one of my sisters friends) later on that night(night of the deb) after a few too many drinks (feel priviledged everyone, u are seein me wasted) this pic is seriously funny cos steven looks like an arab or indian(he is all aussie, the tan looks dodged in this pic though, lol, sorry steven!)hmmm, this looks a little like a before...... and after huh? lol, remember, priviladged, lol




ok so i guess thats all from the la la land im living in lately, oh, i hate manksy and mac manus by the way......

Confession 3: The harsh realities of life.....

ok, so im writing in my blog cos bronwyn has told me today that i am being slack, i guess im just not totally comfortable with the whole "sharing every single thought and emotion" online.
i understand that there is no-one sitting here forcing to spill my guts and say how much of a crap time im having in my life right now, but wasnt that the purpose of my blog??? for me to let everything out of my system and feel like i had that weight lifted off my shoulder, feel like i have someone to talk to about this all, even if it is a computer and maybe no other person in the universe, well maybe bronwyn and nathan and matt, but u know what i mean.
so i hade an allright holidays i guess, i went to the 21 twice (local nightclub that hosts under 18's every few weeks) and hooked up once but he wasnt hot and i wasnt interested in hooking up at the time anyway so i guess i didnt have my "heart" in it.
i also saw princess diaries 2. i would have liked it had i been in a stable relatinoship but i am not and i dont even have any poetentials up right now cos i kno ian is definately not interested in me and i have huge trust issues with guys after what jay did and i guess i just am a total skeptic, i DONT belive in happily ever after anymore, i kno that peoples hearts are broken, that people die, life screws up around ,and people ABUSE their relationships and take things for granted, especially people.
i dont want to sound like a whiny bitch, i kno im not the only one to get burned by a guy but i trusted jay and i dont trust many peope, i kno people lie, so i trusted him and he took advantage of that trust and that sucks and i kno ian is never going to be interested in me and that sucks too cos he is soooo great and i like him so much.
i hate how life goes allright after a while and ur happy cos things are good again and then u get burned and it all goes down the drain and u get depressed again.
i try to think positively, i have a friend who goes to my church who tells me all these amazing positive things, like the ways god sees the world, in three ways, life is a test, life is trust, and life is a temporary assignment
he says when we see life is a test we try our best, nothing is significant, everything matters in the big scheme.
when we see life is trust we grasp onto our relationships, careers, family and trust because we mightnt get another chance to fix things, we need to belive that the people around us dont always want to make life bad for us.
and when we see life is a temporary assignment, we realise life is short, and we arent here for very long, but we dont need to worry about leaving this place, when we die we dont leave home, we go home.
i try to think like that but michael(he is so awesome, he is in a great band,has a sweet voice and is i think 18) has his faith held so high and he knows what he belives in and where he stands with everything and everyone. sure i have my faith, i kno god is here looking out for me, but honestly, where was he when i was at the party with jay???? where is he when i really need him??? sometimes i feel like maybe i shouldnt be believing it all, maybe i shouldnt be trusting in god, why bother when he is only just screwin me round now??
anyone with advice feel free to hand some over before i throw myself of a bridge.....
i hope im still not slack bronwyn...... (im not suicidal let me just say though)

Confession 2: more bout me!

ok, so not all of these are realy confessions but i will try to make them nice and juicy. i also hope to be able to add in some pics too if someone can help me with some info on how to do that seein as im new and all.
I dont know how many people reply to these things but hopefully someone will cos i love getting advice and i always take it onboard cos i know everyone is probably a whole lot wiser on stuff than i am, lol.
I think my two worst habits would have to be biting my nails and leaving things til the last minute. Like now for instance, I am doign homework on some crappy volcanoe assignment i hjave had for the last 3 weeks and is now due in 3 sleeps, i havent done ANY!
OK, so lets get juicy....
who do i like?? well i think i like this guy ian, and its a shame cos we are really good friends and i dont wanna ruin that. im kinda cut though cos at a party over the weekend he wouldnt hook in with me, i didnt ask him to but a gf came up with the idea and now im cut cos when she whispered it in his ear he said, nah nah, and she was like why?????? whats so wrong with me anyway??!???!???!??!
never mind, i also have some news on another guy but i will have to save it for later cos i have to go, seein as im not supposed to be doing this in the first place, lol.
catch yas!
ellie xoxoxo
ps, if anyone reads this can they reply or whatever at leats to tell me they read it cos i dont even know whether this is being read.....

first confession: omg, i have a blog!

so this is i guess going to be my "life story" literally.
i dont know whether this instantly means i am a computer nerd, but hopefully a way to get shit off my chest.
i first met blog through an article in the paper. then, today a classmate bronwyn, was doing her blog on "live journal" and i remembered the name blogger from the paper and thought i would give it a try.
this isnt going to be very personal cos there are people watching me type, but i will do another entry in a few hours when i am alone.
ok, so some quick stats.
DOB: 22nd April, 1990(so at the minute i am 14)
FAMILY: Dad(Chris) Mum (Kay) Lil bro(Leigh) Older sis(aka bitch, or to her friends maddie)
HOBBIES: dancing(any kind really, social, DIRTY, lol, ballet, tap modern or belly dancing), surfing, shopping and hanging out with friends.(oh and perving on some lovely boys down the beach)
FRIENDS: not brendan, jesse or daniel, lol, they are watching, umm i guess i am one of those people with no best friends but lots of friends, i dont know, its weird. well, they are, eb, sarah,cassie,reanne,jess d, nikki, ian, jarred, nathan and maddie, but she doesnt go to this school.
CRUSHES: ok, im not saying any of that especially seein as there are some guys watching, lol, but i like tons of celebrities, some of those are: ashton kutcher, heath ledger, chad michael murray, usher, and justin hawkins(the lead singer in the darkness, sooooo hot!)
WHERE I LIVE: i live in australia in the state victoria. i live in a lil suburb called langwarrin thats only about 10 min drive to the beach.
FAVOURITE MOVIE: i have a few but i reeeally like Centre stage, 10 things i hate about u, rocky horror picture show, a cinderella story, grease, WEST SIDE STORY, dum,b and dumberer, and definately romeo and juliet.
FAVOURITE FOOD: I am a sad person when it comes to comfort food but i try to refrain as i kno it goes straight to my hips!!! i really like marshmallows and diet coke with vanilla, lol, and a few cowboys and jackdaniels with lemonade here and there, lol.
MOTTO: i dont really have a life motto but i heard one from a movie somewhere, i dont know what one, maybe the lion king, lol, it was somthing like, what lies before us and what lies behind us are tiny matters when coimpared to what lkies within us, pretty heavy, but its something like that i think.
OBSESSION: anything by vondutch and NOT BRENDAN, lol. he keeps trying to sway my desicons about what i like, lol. and looking in the mirror is a definate obsession, AND KYLES BODY!!!!lol. (another person here watching)
MUSIC: when it comes to music i really like everything, old school is a definate fav, i like everything from the jackson five to frank sinatra, van morrison, usher, the darkness, ANY BOY BAND, the black eyed peas, B-52s!
FAVOURITE SONG: some favs are definately love shack, bus stop, one sweet day, billie jean, any from west side story and i love bnrown eyed girl and the bright side of the road by van morrison, very cool, lol.
MUSICAL TALENTS: i like to sing and i hear im apparently good, i sang at my uncles funeral once, but i dont know whetherthat means i am good or not, i play piano, and flute as well and fancy myself a drummer but i kno i cant play drums, lol.(maybe i should stick to piano, lol)

ok i guess i better get going now, i will continue with the rest laters BYE!!!!
xoxo ellie